11 Great Ways To Overcome Shyness Permanently

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Your feelings of shyness don’t need to stick with you permanently. Practicing these eleven strategies can help you overcome your shyness. Plus, putting these tactics in place will boost your confidence in social interactions.

1. Name it

What does your shyness do to you in social settings? Does your body language change? Do you struggle to make eye contact with people? Identifying when you start to feel shy can help you learn from it in the future.

2. Understand why you’re shy

If you know why you’re shy in social situations, you can look for ways to break the cycle. For example, it might be due to a lack of confidence or a bad experience that looms larger in your memory than it needs to.

Maybe someone in your past made a big deal about your reserve and you feel it as a source of shame or embarrassment. Maybe it became part of how you think about yourself. Or, maybe you’ll discover that you really do prefer to be yourself with 1-2 good friends rather than surrounded by acquaintances and strangers.

If you feel like there is persistent self-doubt, low sense of self-worth, or anxiety that is driving your shyness, consider working with a therapist or coach, particularly if shyness is interfering with your personal and professional satisfaction.  It isn’t crucial to identify where your shyness stems from, but it does help to identify and challenge any negative inner voice that might be making the situation worse.

3. Surround yourself with supportive people 

When those around you are not judgmental of your shyness, you’ll feel better about yourself. You may even feel empowered to step outside your comfort zone when you have supportive people cheering you on.

4. Start small

Stepping too far out of your comfort zone can be overwhelming, so don’t hop straight into public speaking. Instead, set small goals to get you out of your shell. Start by talking to a family member or making small talk with a colleague. These things can help build confidence and calm your nerves.

5. Explore what you’re good at

If your shyness is getting in the way of your success, then you could be missing out on new opportunities in life. When you always play it safe and never pursue your strengths, you’ll stunt your personal growth.

Exploring your strengths will help you diminish any self-doubt and make you more confident with trying new things.

6. Stop thinking that everyone is looking at you

People aren’t paying attention to every move you make. Your shyness may try to convince you that everyone notices your mistakes, but it’s not true.

You don’t have a spotlight on you in a crowd at a social event. Don’t think that your social skills are being watched all the time.

7. Don’t self-sabotage or avoid social situations

We can be our own worst enemies. Be mindful of your self-talk in social situations when you’re trying to be less shy. You deserve to overcome shyness and build confidence. It’s important not to let your inner critic tell you otherwise so that it can lead you to overcome your shyness.

When you’re shy, it’s tempting to avoid scary situations. But, when we don’t socialize, we put ourselves at risk of depression and social isolation. Make an effort to see people.


8. Welcome setbacks

Having a setback of any kind isn’t the end of your journey. One bad social interaction doesn’t mean that you’re incapable of one day becoming more comfortable in social settings.

It’s easy to be disappointed in yourself, but remember that nobody can be perfect right away.

9. Seek therapy

Therapists are trained medical professionals, and they may be exactly what you need. If you’re struggling to overcome your shyness, a therapist can help you:

  • Identify its cause
  • Reframe negative thoughts that keep you from socializing
  • Manage physical symptoms that come from social anxiety
  • Develop strategies to navigate social situations

10. Always attend social functions such as weddings, birthday parties and clubing, and always try to dance with others when you go clubing with friends.

11. Above all, Make Money, as in real cash, in large quantity but not through criminal, fraudulent, or occultic practices, this will go a long way to boost your confidence in the midst of people and when engaging in any form of group discussion. 

Moving forward

With these tips in mind, you can learn how not to be shy. Don’t forget: being shy isn’t a bad thing. You don’t need to change who you are to succeed. But if you want to strengthen your social skills and relieve some anxiety, you can.

At BetterUp, we love to see people reach their goals. Learn more about individual coaching today. We’ll help you develop strategies to overcome your shyness and start tackling social situations with confidence.

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Emilio Lejit

Educationist, Blogger, Content Developer, Web Developer/Web Designer, Webmaster.

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